We will meet again, I know

My baby girl passed away this past friday, March 7th. I can't say much because it still hurts.

She was 13 years old, we grew up together and she was the most loyal, sweetest, humble, happy thing I knew.

Rainbow Bridge Poem

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor.

Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.

Her bright eyes are intent.

Her eager body quivers.

Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together... Author Unknown

My Valentine Blessing

Last night, myself, the women's pastor and several other ladies from my church hosted a valentines dinner for the Women & Children First Home. This home takes in women and children that are fleeing from domestic abuse. Some of them come from half way across the country b/c their situation is so bad that they never want him to find them.
We prepared a dinner for ladies while thier children played upstairs with other volunteers. Because these women have not been shown love in a long time, it was our honor to cook them a nice meal and focus our love on them, if only for a couple of hours.

I was blessed beyond measure. God surprised me more than I could imagine.

I sat next to a lady who was very soft spoken and probably didn't what to think about all the attention. I had noticed upstairs that she had brought her son with her (I can't disclose names for the protection of the women). He was such an outgoing little boy and full of energy. As I sat next to the lady, I knew one way I could get her to talk was to ask her a/b her children. She has been in toe program for a while and is now starting to live on her own for the first time. We talked about her apartment, where she works, what she does for fun.
I felt very odd asking the question, but I followed my gut - I asked her (as far as a career) what she would eventually like to do.

Are you ready????...


She looks at me and says "Well, I have a degree in art with an emphasis in graphic design & illustration and love to get back in to that one day."


HELLO!!!!??????? OKAY GOD, WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THIS?!

Some of you might be wondering what I am suprised about.? Well, being a graphic designer, I knew instantly that I was supposed to talk to her about that. When I told her what I did for a living, her eyes to lit up! "Really!?" she asked.
So, for the rest of the night, I tried to coach her on what avenues she should take to try to get back in the business. It has been a few years since she has worked and things change rapidly in this business. She was very curious and asked me a ton of questions. I pray that I left her with tremendous encouragement and that I empowered her to take her next step in life.

I have never walked out of a situation/event with that much belief that I was RIGHT were God wanted me to be that evening - ever!
I will never forget it.

I wish she would live forever...

Most of you know, I have a very special quiet angel in my life -

my 12 yr. old golden retriever, Belle.

I have had her since I was 15. I am just know able to post this b/c I have run out of tears and have started the process of acceptance, but it is going to take me while to get through this post.

We found out last September that she had skin cancer after two tumors were removed off of her right leg. Everything seemed great, nothing seemed to "loom" over us.

Right after New Years, what I thought was two more tumors had popped up on her right leg again. I took her in to get them removed and there were SEVEN, not two. The type of skin cancer she has is very aggressive. We had just been dealing with Grade 2, well, one the size of a BB came back a Grade 3, which puts us in a whole other playing field. Chemo is not very effective towards this cancer, so we have decided not to pursue that option.

To me, her quality of life is much more important at this stage than the quantity!

She still greets us at the door everyday when we come home - tail wagging and ready to play frisbee to the best of her ability. If she wants a whole piece of bread instead of a half piece, yes, i admit it, she gets it.

The vet said we have 6-9 months.

I know the time will come, but I will NEVER be ready.

• Every time I have been sick, Belle would not leave the front yard, even if she did want to go on a walk so bad she couldn't stand it. She had a job a to do.
• One of her nicknames is "Thumper" b/c when you come up to her and she is lying on her side she thumps her tail on the ground so loudly and has the biggest grin on her face that says "Rub my belly, Rub my belly"
• Another nickname is "Boo Boo" b/c my brother used to call her that to make fun of her b/c she is such a chicken when it storms
• She is my protector and my gentle giant. All she wants to do is know your not going to hurt me, then she licks you to death.

I soak up every minute I can with her right now b/c I know I will never have a dog just like her. It is heart wrenching to think that what seems like a little thing in your life will leave an impact the size of a crater on your heart.

So this post is dedicated to my quiet angel.

CHRISTmas

Merry Christmas!!!!!!

December seemed to fly by so fast! I'm sure everyone feels that way. However, I think a lot of companies have started to steer away from the large Christmas parties because there did not seem to be that many around that I heard of, so that was a relief - but I could be in the dark.
It is always fun to recieve all the great Christmas cards, and well you can't forget the Christmas newsletters from Aunts, Uncles or Cousins. Some are joyful and others, well.... humourous.

We had a good Christmas, Stephen's big items were an ipod and a bike rack. I got a new bike (yeah!!) and a docking station for my ipod. We put the docking station in the kitchen and I have throughly enjoyed listening to music, instead of the TV, while I cook. I don't feel as rushed. Here are a few pics.

On Christmas Eve we went to Paul & Carolyns house and had Christmas with Stephen's side of the family. Our neice is growing so fast and to think she has a little sister coming shortly is amazing.

A week after Christmas we went up to Fayetteville to spend time with my nephews - Parker (7) & Henry (4). JT & Belle love it up at the farm. JT especially likes to go bark at the cows. While me and my brother, TJ, rock out on Guitar Hero. (as of right now, that is the one game that I can beat Stephen at - but I am sure he will catch up to me quickly)

We had a lot to reflect on and remember how much Christ has blessed us this past year.

1. Stephen being laid off and re-hired that then lead to a management postion.
2. Mom's fight with ovarian cancer - involving two sugeries and 7 rounds of chemotherapy. She is now cancer free!!!!
3. A good friend of mine was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.
4. And last, but not least, just the ability to live everyday in freedom. We are blessed that people will knowingly pay that price for us everyday. I love our troops!
   
   Our prayer for you and your families is that you will have a blessed New Year and may Christ be beside you everyday.
   

To be the best I can be

Pictured above: Alice, Amy & Leanne

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go out with a few friends. One couple consisted of my best friend Alice and her husband Chris that live in New Orleans. The other couple was Leanne and Chad. Leanne and I used to be best friends from junior high school until it fell apart our first year of college. It was really good to see her and her man, he seems to take really good care of her and I’m thankful for that. Alice & I have been friends since high school and got closer and closer in college and beyond.

On Sunday I found myself flooded with a million different feelings about the situation. I am one that never likes to lose friends. I know that some people come and go in our life - but i have always thought that when you are that close with someone that the friendship never really dies. I am sure that comes with being an adult but I also think it comes from me geninuinly caring about someone. There are girls I have gone to school with since kindergarten and they have turned more in to acquaintences. Sometimes that bums me out but it doesn’t pull at my heart strings like the loss of a friendship/friend that I spent a lot of quality time with does - someone that I "grew up with."

I have had a few friendships that have come full circle, that I lost touch with and I now spend time with, its not as close as I would probably like for it to be - but I am sure I am just as much to blame in those instances.

There were a lot of questions that flooded my head after all of my emotions of hurt and frustration mixed with excitement and true joy for this "new friendship" - for me that is what this is going to have to become in a sense - a new friendship. There is A LOT of history there but our lives are completely different, in a way, both of us have experience different turns in our lives, but I know the roots of our personalities are the same. I really just want to know what happened. Was it me? Am I the one at fault here? For some reason I can not find the courage to ask those questions yet - it still hurts. (Which is frustrating in its self, because I sometimes think I am stronger than that- HA! who am I kidding?)

I can remember when the day I was told I had cancer and how bad I just wanted a close girl friend there beside me - to hug me, cry with me, and laugh with me. I may not have talked about that much or I may have put on my strong face - but man, was I dying inside! Thinking... "Really? Cancer? I’m only 24! I have so much more ahead of me!" ... to name a few.
I do know now though that if anyone I consider a close girlfriend goes through anything life-threatening I will do everything in my power to be there and to be the comforter and friend that I needed.

This weekend taught me a lot, but most of all it reiterated what I have always tried to be... I want to be the best friend I can possible be... I want to be the best person I can possibly be... I want to be the best wife I can possibly be... I want to be the best mother, sister, aunt or cousin I can possibly be.

Pictured Left: Stephen, Amy, Chad, Leanne, Alice & Chris

Leanne - if you read this - I always wanted what was best for you - ALWAYS! Meeting Chad has put a great sense of peace in my heart and it seems that right now, you do have what is best for you! I am so happy for you!

Here is to all types of friendships - old, new or revitalizing.

The great dingy adventure!!

Off the main island there is a nationally registered island called “Buck Island” where locals and tourists spend their Sunday afternoons. You can only get there by boat and it is a mile off the mainland.

Most people take boats out there that a/b 20ft or larger. Most of the larger boats will pull a dingy (tiny boat w/ an outboard motor) so that they can take it to shore, cruise around to everyone else’s boat or take people around to the other side of the island to the snorkel trail.
Stephen wanted to take our friend’s (Dick) dingy out (funny, huh?) and ride right behind them (a 1970 60ft something) b/c he didn’t have a tow line for it. Well… this would be first time this dingy has ever been “out to sea” and the swells were a/b 2-4 ft., not bad, but not fun.
So off we go, merrily riding behind them as they pull out of the slip and out of the jetty. It looked as if we were going to keep up… until – Dick cranked it in to only about 10-knots and we were soon left in a trail of churned ocean. I thought to myself “that’s okay- it will just take us a half a day to get there.” Wasn’t happy about it, but was adjusting okay.
Then the motor dies. He cranks again, we progress a/b 15 ft (we are going in to the seas to go to the island) then it dies again. We lose our 15 ft. gain. By this point we are a/b ¼ mile or more from land. He then says “why are we taking on water?” He grabs the water pump that you use to usually pump out rain water and starts pumping. We lose more ground. He starts it again. We gain 10 more feet, maybe and it dies. The engine sits too far in to the water, so every time we would hit a high wave and the back end would drop a little the engine would get flooded. He then asks me to grab this milk jug that has half the top cut out of it so I can start bailing water. “Fine, I thought, I can do this, its not big deal, this is a tiny boat, and it’s kinda’ like being in he lake.” Then I happen to look up and the boat is bounding up and down and get my bearings all messed up and here comes the nausea.
So, now I’m nauseated, it’s hot as heck, we have nothing with us but a water pump, my mosquito bitten feet are sitting in a/b 8 inches of ocean water/ left over beverage that was spilled trying to do 3 things at once and I realize I’m burning b/c I didn’t put sunscreen on my back b/c it wasn’t supposed to be that long of a ride. I can also see that my family and a/b 12 other friends had made it to Buck Island and was starting to get a little panicked/really pissed that they were not going to come get us. If I could have screamed profanities I would have, then I thought at this point there was no point in wasting my breath.

My husband looks at me and says “Well I guess if worse comes to worse we will eat your left leg first.” I was stunned, thinking “WHAT?,” and I replied with, “Oh no(!), why my leg?" He was trying to lighten the mood and I wasn’t having it.
We notice that the big boat has turned around to come get us and they are looking a/b 1/4mile west of us. We’re screaming, waving our hands- then they finally come over.
As we are bobbing up and down as they back in to us so we can get up at the swim platform at the back of the boat, I hear something buzzing beside my left ear. I swat it, thinking it was mosquito and BAM! A STINGING SHOCKWAVE goes through my left thumb and in to my body. I’m screaming, I see the bee do a dive bomb in to the bottom of the dingy and look at my thumb to see its stinger lodged in to the top pad of my thumb and half of its intestines still attached.
So, I’m screaming, freaking out b/c all I want to do is get on the freakin’ boat – a friend reaches over grabs me underneath my armpits, and like superman lifts me to safety. Now I realize I’m okay and I lose it – I am a balling – I had had enough crap in the past 45 minutes, I was done – then I notice there are about 10 people on this boat that I have never met before and they probably think I am the biggest pansy.
They ended up finding a line to pull the dingy behind the boat, we get there, they check to see why were taking on water… Dick (our friend) had taken out the plug for something and forgot to put it back in. We found out that champagne corks work just fine for a drain plug. Let the engine out and the dingy was ready for other adventures…. That did not include me!

Here is a picture of my dad, Stephen & the infamous dingy.

VACATION

We had a wonderful vacation visiting my dad and step-mom. We didn't get to go island hopping which was a HUGE bummer b/c of some incompetent boat mechanics at the marina.

However, some good friends of ours, Robyn & Ethan, rent villas for a living and they let us stay in one for a few nights. The name of the group of villas is called The Villa Madeline. If you would like to rent one for your next vacation, let me know and I can contact them, in the mean time I am going to try to find their website so I can link it here. It was awesome - 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, den, full kitchen and a private pool. Very romantic.

Here are some pictures.

(L) Stephen looking for baby sharks. (R) Robin, Deborah & me on the boat at Buck Island.

Out in the town shopping.

Us being tourists - at the eastern most point of the United States of America. Behind us is a sun dial that was built in 2000 for the millenium.

THE VILLA!